Our First Shit Talk
Ah, the Met Gala. That annual soirée where celebrities strut in outfits that range from divine to downright disastrous. This year's theme? “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style”—a tribute to Black dandyism and sartorial excellence, inspired by Monica L. Miller’s Slaves to Fashion.
But let's be real: some people ate and some people starved. And SOME people deserved an invite and didn’t get one (I’m talking about myself, shocker).
Let’s Talk Best Dressed: Who Understood the Assignment?
1. Rihanna (Naturally)
Rihanna graced the carpet in a custom Marc Jacobs ensemble that was both a nod to classic tailoring and a revelation of her pregnancy. She effortlessly blended tradition and modernity, proving once again why she's a fashion icon and the baddest woman on the planet.
2. Zendaya
Zendaya, who does absolutely zero wrong, wore a custom Louis Vuitton suit, paying homage to the zoot suit— which is a staple of Black dandyism and completely on theme. She was styled by Law Roach, and she absolutely ate down - face, bod, hair, EVERYTHING.
3. Angela Bassett
It was her first time at the Met Gala, and she found a way to make Burberry look good. The velvet tuxedo cape was stunning and her tailored trousers, which would normally make me throw up, elevated her look to that of a GOD. If I could give three words for her look, they would be confidence, power, and sensuality. She is an icon.
Now…Worst Dressed: The Eye Sores
1. Kim Kardashian
Kim's attempt at avant-garde fell so flat, but thank god she isn’t because body still tea. Her ensemble, which she meant to be a futuristic take on tailoring, ended up looking more like a misstep into a sci-fi convention, and was WAY too uncomfortable for the MET GALA. Baby this the MET GALA and you looked like you could not move. If you can’t move, you can’t serve.
2. Jared Leto
He always makes … eccentric choices, and we saw those again —unfortunately. His outfit was a full body cat costume and I wish I was kidding. Absolutely everyone was left questioning his interpretation of the theme and while I love an out of touch king I genuinely cannot understand what the fuck his outfit was.
3. Bella Hadid
Bella Hadid’s 2025 Met Gala look? Baby, it was less “fashion in the digital age” and more “dragged through an '80s arcade and lost a fight with a lava lamp.” The metallic nightmare looked like she raided a defunct Laser Tag arena and called it couture. Honestly, if the Metaverse saw her coming, it would’ve logged off.
Celebrity Couples: Sexual Chemistry and Drama (Two of My Favorite Things)
Rihanna & A$AP Rocky
Rihanna and A$AP Rocky made headlines not just for their impeccable style but also for announcing their third pregnancy at the Met Gala. I love it when people stay busy - can’t even blame Rihanna tbh. Even though I’m jealous, this very sweet announcement comes after a pretty suspicious era in their lives, I’m talking about Rocky’s recent gun trial, to be more obvious. BUT it definitely makes their appearance so much more awesome.
Sabrina Carpenter & Barry Keoghan
Sabrina Carpenter made a bold statement post-breakup with Barry Keoghan, wearing a PANTLESS (yes - PANT. LESS.) Louis Vuitton ensemble that screamed independence and “look at me!”. Their awkward avoidance on the red carpet was so fucking funny, and the tension definitely confirmed the allegations of infidelity and conflicting lifestyles post their December 2024 breakup.
Ciara & Future
Ciara, who is SO HOT, btw, accompanied by her husband Russell Wilson, managed to sidestep any eye contact with Future (the hotter ex-fiance) at Pharrell's exclusive "After Hours Uno Tournament" party. Despite their history and obvious co-parenting issues, Ciara stayed being an unbothered queen, focusing on tapping Rihanna’s baby bump even after all the past drama. Clearly there is something about those motherhood hormones that unites two divas and I HIGHKEY love it.
Miley Cyrus & Nick Jonas
Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas, teenage sweethearts from 2006 to 2007, crossed paths once again, SHOCKER (lol i’m lying this makes so much sense). Both have moved on, I guess, so they say. Jonas is married to Priyanka Chopra, and Cyrus is dating Maxx Morando. HOWEVER, idgaf because the sexual chemistry was THERE on the carpet.
WTF is “Superfine”?
The theme? A bold, badass tribute to Black style and dandyism—centuries of unapologetic elegance, rebellion, and brilliance woven into every thread. However, sequins don’t equal substance, and slapping on a vaguely “regal” fit doesn’t mean you’re honoring anything but your own vanity.
I can’t WAIT for next year, when the Met Gala once again turns into fashion’s most fabulous mess of hits, flops, and confused A-listers cosplaying as culture—don’t worry, I will still be here to roast every misstep and worship every slay.
Stay tuned for the next sporadic post… i’m feeling academic, so buckle up for some heavy subject matter and even heavier profanity.
