Threesomes: The Taboo Tango We Pretend We Don’t Want

Where to begin…

Let’s get one thing straight: the idea of a threesome is hot. Scorching. Red-light-district-meets-your-favorite-fantasy hot. And don’t even try to act like you haven’t thought about it. Your search history knows. Your shower fantasies know. That suspiciously long pause you took when your friend joked about it? Oh honey, we all know.

So why is something so deliciously tempting still so taboo? Why do we pretend like three’s a crowd when clearly it’s a party?

Let’s talk about it.

A threesome is the holy grail of sexual curiosity—two people loving on you at once, more limbs than you know what to do with, and a buffet of bodies that screams “yes chef!” to your every craving. It’s not just about sex; it’s about stepping into a realm of permission, exploration, and yes, a little chaos. But good chaos. The kind of chaos that makes you forget your ex’s name and what day it is. WHY are we pretending to NOT want that??

Here’s the kicker: as much as threesomes are fantasized about, they’re rarely normalized. And that’s not because they’re inherently problematic—it’s because society is clutching its pearls and holding onto outdated playbooks like it’s still the 1950s and we’re all about to get smacked with a ruler for even saying the word “clitoris.” Please be for real.

We’ve been fed the idea that intimacy is a one-on-one duet, not a three-way harmony. There’s about a hundred reasons for that, but I won’t get into all of them. We have been taught that love is a cage match where only one partner wins your heart. BORING. But add a third and suddenly you’re accused of being greedy, unstable, or ***gasp****…. emotionally unavailable.

Please. Half of us can barely handle one relationship without spiraling into a text-analyzing mess. You really think people trying new dynamics are the unstable ones?

Here’s the real reason threesomes aren’t normalized: because normalizing them would force people to actually confront their insecurities. Jealousy. Communication gaps. The myth of sexual ownership. And—God forbid—desire in its raw, unfiltered form.

It’s easier to shame what we don’t understand than to admit we want it too.

We'd rather mock the idea than evolve the conversation.

But imagine this: a world where talking about threesomes doesn’t raise eyebrows, where curiosity isn’t labeled as moral failure, and where pleasure isn’t policed like a crime scene. A world where adults—consenting, communicative adults—could explore together without dragging shame into the bedroom like some third wheel nobody asked for.

Sound radical? It’s not. It’s real. It’s already happening—quietly, behind closed doors, in trusted group chats, whispered over wine glasses. The revolution isn’t coming. It’s already between the sheets.

So maybe it’s time we stopped clutching our pearls and started polishing them.

Normalize the fantasy. Normalize the conversation. And who knows—maybe normalize the experience.

After all, life’s short. Sometimes, two’s company… but three? Three’s divine.

Let’s Keep Going

So Why Should We Actually Destigmatize Threesomes?

Let me break it down into 6 wonderful points…

1. Consensual Exploration Isn’t a Crime
Let’s stop treating pleasure like a guilty verdict. If three adults say “hell yes,” then who are we to whisper “but is it normal?” Normal is fucking boring. Wake up. Exploring new dynamics with honesty and intention should be celebrated, not shamed. We glorify “trying new things” in every area of life—why is sex the exception?

2. Shame Ruins Good Sex
Nothing kills the mood faster than internalized shame. We’ve all been there, but why? When you destigmatize sexual experiences like threesomes, you create space for people to explore with joy, confidence, and openness. No one should be orgasming with one hand and clinging to guilt with the other.

3. It Teaches Real Communication Skills
You think a successful threesome happens without next-level communication? Not a chance. People who engage in these dynamics (and do it well) are masters of boundary-setting, consent, emotional check-ins, and mutual respect. Honestly, half of Tinder could learn a thing or two. Who am I kidding, so could I.

4. Monogamy Isn’t the Only Blueprint
Threesomes challenge the tired narrative that intimacy only counts if it’s one-on-one. Spoiler: humans are diverse. Love, connection, and pleasure come in many flavors. Destigmatizing group dynamics allows us to stop shaming those who don’t fit the traditional mold. Why are we acting like we have to find our life partner? If you don’t want to yet, you don’t have to yet. Or ever. Do what floats YOUR boat, not the heteronormative, monogamous boat that has been built by your parents and society your entire life.

5. Curiosity ≠ Commitment Issues
Craving novelty doesn’t mean someone’s broken. It means they’re human. You can want emotional connection and still crave fresh experiences. It is okay. Wanting a threesome doesn’t mean you’re unsatisfied—it means you're interested in experiencing more of what life (and love) can offer. AND THAT IS OKAY. The only thing holding you back is YOU.

6. We Talk About Threesomes Constantly—Just in Hypotheticals
It’s the sexual elephant in the room. Music videos tease it. Comedies joke about it. But God forbid someone says they actually did it without being met with a side-eye and a “wow, you’re wild.” Let’s stop being performative about our open-mindedness and actually live it. Why is it so crazy? Why is wanted to explore sex, try new things, and embrace a new experience so judged? I hope as a society we will figure it out one day, and learn how to take the stick out of our asses and have a little fun.

Threesomes aren’t dirty, desperate, or immoral. They’re not just for porn, unicorn-hunting couples, or celebrities with PR scandals. They’re a real option for real people—when approached with care, honesty, and mutual respect.

Imagine a world where we talked about threesomes like we talk about brunch: enthusiastically, unapologetically, and with way too much detail. A world where you could say, “Yeah, we tried it—and it was amazing,” without someone gasping like you just confessed to tax fraud.

Normalize the fantasy. Normalize the conversation. And maybe, normalize the experience.

Because life’s short. Two’s company, but three? Three’s a goddamn revelation.